Behind the Red Door
Erin is out of town this weekend, which means that I am free to wander off in Ballard and explore a few of the places on my hit list that she has deemed unacceptable for date night, trivia night, causal drinks with friends night, or basically any other night. This weekend I am looking forward to trying Mike's Chili Parlour (1447 N.W. Ballard Way), a restaurant and bar located prominently to the left as you cross over 15th street towards Market on the Ballard bridge. In spite of my many pleas, Erin has routinely objected to a Friday night date at Mike's, and has gone so far as to actively discourage me from going to Mike's on my own. I am assuming this ban will be temporarily lifted if she doesn’t have to come home and share a small house with me at night.
Mike's Chili now stands as my number one curiosity restaurant/bar in Ballard. It is hard to argue with the concept of a chili bar, which I am confident will live up to my high expectations of serving Chili con Carne and cold beer. Before Mikes topped the list, I had wanted to try several dive bars near downtown Ballard. I visited my favorite of these—the Golden City Restaurant’s Lounge—the last time Erin left for Portland.
I had for a long time been curious about the establishment located behind the crimson red door next to A-Scream Barbershop, located at 5512 20th just off Market in downtown Ballard. Judging from steady grouping of black haired punks and retired pipe fitters smoking outside, I was convinced that the red door would prove to be a rarity in 21st century Ballard--a dive bar unencumbered by either irony or the infinitely hipper, better looking, better dressed, younger, and richer clientele who go for the drink and a haircut combo at Rudy’s and Kings Hardware.
As is often the case with dive bars that pique my curiosity, I spent several months trying to convince Erin of the pressing importance of discovering the untold possibilities behind the nameless red door. On a recent Saturday night after a movie at the Majestic Bay I made my first pitch. “Think about it Erin, how cool might a place squeezed between a Chinese restaurant and a barbershop be?” To her credit, Erin remained steadfast. “I’ve thought about it Graeme. You’re taking me to the Balmar.”
At other times Erin had to apply more forceful persuasion. “Sweetie”, I would intone hopefully, pointing as we passed the A-Scream façade on the way to the Bank of American teller. “It’s noon Graeme. We’re here for the farmer’s market.”
When Erin headed down to Portland, I managed to persuade my friend John to walk into Ballard for a cold beer. John is generally a fairly easy sell for mild adventures in Ballard. I called him while he was in the middle of torturing a formal model explaining the various mutual incentives for coalition building between Austrilian labor unions and Australia’s center left political party. John was pretty sure he needed a beer after 12 hours of game theory. I was pretty sure I was going to need a beer after a twenty minute walk into downtown Ballard and hearing him talk about his dissertation research.
As it turns out, the bar behind the red door is the stand-alone lounge for the Golden City Chinese restaurant (5518 20th Ave) located next door. For anyone interested in ranking bar/barbershop combos, the Chinese restaurant distinguishes the Golden City lounge/A-Scream from the upstart Kings Hardware/Rudy’s combination. At the Golden City, not only can you get a cocktail while you wait for a haircut at A-Scream, you can also take in the $4.25-$5.95 daily lunch special of authentic Ballard Chinese.
Although the “red door” is officially the Golden City bar, it is otherwise bereft of any Chinese themed decorations. In some ways this is too bad. As far as dive-bar décor goes, mid-1950s Sino-American kitsch is fairly hard to beat.
The interior of the Golden City lounge comes close. It is a narrow space with a small seating area in the front, and a long traditional 60s or 70s bar extending in the back. The room is sparsely populated with cheap coffee shop furniture and benches; many bruised by cigarette burns and held together by duct tape. The bar is accented with a string of small white Christmas tree lights haphazardly highlighting the liquor selection. I didn’t see a jukebox, but the somebody clearly had impeccable taste in dive bar music, and was cycling through mid 70s to mid 80s classic and hard rock, interrupted by an occasional breath of late Motown soul.
What makes the Golden City bar stand-out are the bizarre tile murals depicting river-boat life on the Mississippi. One shows a steamboat billowing as it pushes its way out of Dixie. Another takes a more expansive view of the banks of the Mississippi framed by Spanish moss. Coupled with an interior decor that is not immediately identifiable as Southern, the art gives the bar a familiar feel of a San Diego or New Orleans dive--a small space that where someone chased a concept halfway before pulling up and deciding they had done enough decorating for one weekend.
Once seated, my friend John and I were helped immediately by an unbelievably friendly bartender. We were told that the bar had no taps for draft beer, so John settled for Bud Light, while I worked on a Rainier. I made a mental note that the bar also carried the Polish Beer Okocim in case I needed to convince Erin to join me on a future trip.
The room was filled with a diverse range of characters, all seemed friendly and none raised the hair on the back of my neck, as can happen in the occasional dive. At a corner table near the door was a thirty-something male hipster (looking thrilled) and his two female companions (who looked like they’d rather be at the Balmar.) We struck up a conversation with the middle aged guy to our right, who was apparently hanging out and watching Lethal Weapon 2 on the single bar TV. The conversation was pleasant enough, but ended awkwardly after he embarked on an extended impersonation of Joe Pesci characters, cycling through his favorite Leo Getz quotes before moving to the “How am I funny” diatribe from Goodfellas.
My major regret is not trying the Chinese buffet. There are few instances where I am eager to eat Americanized Chinese delicacies like hot and sour soup or sweet and sour pork. Sitting in the Golden City lounge at 9:30pm with a cold Rainer could well prove the exception. I actually don’t know when the restaurant side of the bar closes, ‘cause with Erin gone this weekend, a 1am meal of Kung-Pao Chicken, cold Rainier, and whatever action reruns they are showing on the tube could definitely be the exception.
